How Your Family and Friends Can Help You Manage Your Diabetes

By Lance Porter

Being diagnosed with diabetes is a shock. No one wants to admit it, but part of what makes it so upsetting is that it reminds you of your mortality. If your pancreas can let you down, what next? Suddenly you no longer have that feeling of invulnerability you had when you were a kid.

It’s important to remember that it can have the same effect on your family and friends. They may have thought you were bulletproof, too. Now they don’t. They may be just as scared, confused, upset and frustrated as you!

Support or “diabetes police”?

Friends and family can be a wonderful source of support at this time—or not. This is a new wrinkle in your relationship with them, and like anything else, it can go well—or it can go badly. For every story I hear from someone newly diagnosed who says their family and friends were a rock they could lean on, I hear another story describing the opposite.

Sometimes the people closest to you just ignore your diabetes. They go into denial (as many people with diabetes do), hoping it will go away and everything will be as it was. Other times they overreact, turning into the “diabetes police.” There’s a fine line between support and nagging. And how are your friends and family supposed to know where that line is when you may not know what you want from them yourself?

There’s nowhere you can turn for a definitive answer on how to relate to your family and friends when you have diabetes. There is also nowhere for them to turn for a cut-and-dry answer on how they should deal with you. Every family and every group of friends is different, and each has to work things out in its own way. But here are some common-sense suggestions that may make things go smoother.

The people closest to you need to learn about diabetes. Diabetes is a self-managed disease and it is essential that you learn all you can about how to deal with it. The people you spend the most time with need to learn about it, too. This is partly from the standpoint of safety. If you are taking insulin or medication for your diabetes, you may be at risk for hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Your closest friends and family need to know, at the very least, how to recognize the symptoms of hypoglycemia and what to do about it. If you get sweaty, woozy, and start talking nonsense, someone needs to hand you a bottle of orange juice.

But safety is not the only issue. Diabetes can affect your mood. Your closest friends and family need to understand the effect that high and low blood sugars can have on you. They need to know what you have to do to control your blood sugar levels, and how frustrating and challenging the process can be. The more they know, the more likely they will understand what you’re going through.

You need to let your family and friends know what you expect of them. As you begin to get a handle on the disease, you need to let the people closest to you know what you want from them. If you’ve decided to handle your diabetes on your own and you don’t want their input, you need to tell them so. On the other hand, if you want them to remind you to test your blood sugar, exercise and watch what you eat, tell them so. (And don’t bite their heads off when they do!)

Over time, you may change your mind. You may think at first that you want help, and then decide you don’t—or vice versa. That’s fine. Just keep your family and friends informed, and don’t blame them for doing as you ask.

The better job you do of controlling your blood sugar levels, the less effect diabetes will have on your family and friends. Good control of your blood glucose is essential for your health. It’s equally good for your relationships! When you keep your blood sugar under tight control, you are also doing a tremendous favor to the ones you love. On the other hand, if you let yourself go and ask them not to get involved, you’re putting them in an impossible situation. They can’t sit back and let you deteriorate—because they love you!

So do what you’re supposed to do to take care of your diabetes. Neither you nor your family and friends can make your diabetes “go away.” But with good control, you can make diabetes a negligible factor in your life—and theirs. Check your blood sugar, get your exercise, and watch your diet—and there’s nothing for anyone to nag you about. Good control over your blood sugar makes for good relationships!

Lance Porter is the editor of “Diabetes Positive!” magazine and author of the book, “28 Days to Diabetes Control!”